be free, beatles

Texas wildfires

Per my usual form, I post after four months of nothing.

So much has happened! I'll try to update this later with all the goings on of my life, but mainly I wanted to make this post about the Texas wildfires spreading throughout the state.

They've been burning for a few days now and cannot be contained because Texas ran out of air support. Our governor Rick Perry decided to decrease the firefighting portion of the budget by 75% (despite it being the hottest and dryest summer we've had in awhile), and now we don't have enough firefighters or resources. (And just FYI, this douchebag is running for President..) When I leave my apartment complex, I can see the smoke from every direction I look and you can smell the burning. Many neighborhoods have burned down, many people have been evacuated and have lost everything they own. It's a really scary and sad time right now. I'm packing a bag in case I need to bug out too, which I'm hoping doesn't happen because I have my cats. (Also I'd like not all my stuff to burn up..)

If you can help in any way, donate money to the Capital Area Food Bank or Red Cross of Central Texas. Material donations can be sent to me if you're interested and I can take them to any of the drop-off locations.
Here are lists of what is needed:

I am largely safe, I believe. There are two big fires that are north of me, but they aren't spreading a whole lot, thankfully. There are roads that aren't THAT far away from me that are being closed down and there aren't a whole lot of entrances and exits into my area as I live kinda out in the middle of nowhere.. There is one fire in Bastrop (east of Austin) that is now 6 miles wide and 16 miles long because it is 0% contained. And because of our terrible drought, everything is very dry and conditions are perfect for spreading wildfires.

Here's a good interactive map that is getting regularly updated with all the active fires:
You can click on each flame and get information about that particular wildfire.

This is also a good resource about what's going on:

The Texas Forest Service is putting out an updated daily fire danger map every day. Here was yesterdays:

Today is looking much better, thankfully..

Here are a couple pictures of the smoke and fire in various parts of Texas...

This is in Willis, Texas- north of Houston.

This is an especially scary image, I think. This picture was taken from the 360 bridge area in West Austin. That city to the left is downtown Austin. That is what you can see from the city I live in. Frightening.

A close up view of the fire that's causing the smoke in the last picture.

Please send good thoughts/prayers/good qi/whatever you want to all those here in Texas. Many have lost their homes and everything they own. Right now everyone is thinking about containing the fires and putting them out. But soon after, we'll have to deal with the massive devastation. :o(
be free, beatles

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I fantasize about running away from Austin, saying goodbye to no one, and not telling anyone where I'm going.

... But I never could.
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be free, beatles

delayed ramblings :o(

Have I really not written in this since December? Wow. I'm sorry if I made you feel neglected, Livejournal. You know you'll always hold a special place in my heart..

Anyway. At about 6 am this morning, I was profusely crying about various things in my life and it suddenly occurred to me that when I'm crying at 6 in the morning, I'm crying alone, and this was the saddest thing of all.

While living alone certainly has it benefits, I miss having someone around to talk to, to do things with, to get comfort from. I also miss the one who used to be my roommate for so many years, so that makes it even harder. I have a feeling the next few months and especially after will be especially hard on me. It's incredible how much love can affect you.

I have doubts about my future. Once, I felt stable and sure. Now I feel lost.. I'm just grasping at straws of what I think I should do. I have new love in my life, which has and continues to be wonderful, but I just realized last night it's not THE kind of love I'm seeking. I thought it was but I had sort of an epiphany last night. I've known for awhile that the situation surrounding it is not ideal for what I want ultimately, but even if it were, I don't think it'd be what I want. I feel like I had exactly what I want and it just didn't work out... and that really, really hurts. I'm so afraid I'll never find that again. :o(

Things in my life have been up and down lately. I'm meeting lots of new people, going outside my comfort zone to new events and places, and just generally coming into my own. This is what I want, but I'm so sad. I'm having a really difficult time feeling whole by myself and that's something I really, really need to work on. But I don't know what to do. I'm starting to get bitter and jaded and I don't want that to happen.
I need to study more for my boards and take them so I can get my medical license so I can start practicing... but I feel almost no motivation to do so. I don't know why. I love chinese medicine and I love treating people but I just.. I don't know.

I guess I'm done now.
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be free, beatles


Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
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be free, beatles


I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I can't even believe it. I presented my research paper AND took my last exam EVAR today...

The last couple weeks have been increasingly stressful trying to get everything done for school, as well as essentially planning a graduation on my OWN (it's a long story. sigh.).. but I did it! I have 5 more clinic shifts left to complete and nothing else! I'm pretty sure that because I've been so busy, I haven't had a chance to let the fact that I am literally graduating in three days sink in. Last night, I started to think about it and teared up a little. :o(

I'm ridiculously excited to get out of here and get out and start practicing.. but at the same time, I'm going to miss everyone. (Well. Not everyone.. but most people..) My classmates have already gone out and purchased waterproof make-up for graduation. As soon as we step into that room, I'm going to be all waterworks.

I will write a more meaningful post later on about this but basically for right now, I just wanted to share that I am officially done. I still have some clinic shifts to make up, but school is OVER.

Thank you everyone for your love and support. <3
be free, beatles

If you see my reflection in a snow covered hill...

A lot of things have happened recently.

- Another trimester has come to a close, meaning I only have one left. I am both ready to get the EFF out of my school but I'm also sad that I won't get to see everyone every day anymore... oh, and that I'll have to find a job.

- I have moved out of the house I was in with Jesse and am now living on my own in an apartment. I have very mixed feelings about the situation surrounding this turn of events. Most of the time I'm okay with it, but it will take lots and lots of time. In the meantime, I'm listening to Alanis Morissette and the Dixie Chicks and feeling sorry for myself. If any of you know me well, you know I don't necessarily deal well with extreme change on my own, so this has been a learning experience for me. I just bought my own bed tonight and now I know the difference between coils, memory foam and latex foam! I haven't even been in my apartment all that long and even less time have I really been alone but already I miss having someone to chat with all evening, someone to snuggle in bed with me and fluffy kitties coming to trample my face at 3 in the morning because that's how he shows me he loves me. :o(( It's just very weird being completely alone and it will take some time for me to adjust.

- I just came back from a trip this past Tuesday. Jesse and I went to Las Vegas for my uncle's wedding and rented a car on our own to check out the Grand Canyon and the Hoover Dam. All in all, it was a fantastic trip and I had a lot of fun. It was a good de-stresser for me and practically all my acne went away. Since I've been back in Austin, it has started to return... and I'm not even back in class yet. I'm wondering if I'm allergic to Austin. Perhaps I should perpetually be on vacation. :o)
I'll post pictures of this once I get all my pictures organized and copies of the ones Jesse has on his camera.

- I have a passport and a plane ticket to go visit my sister with my mom in the UK! We fly out in October and we'll be gone for about two weeks. I am really, really, really excited for this trip. I've never been out of the country (except for Niagara Falls in Canada, which hardly counts), so this will be a new experience for me. I'm looking forward to seeing all sorts of cool shit in other countries. The whole thing has been and will continue to be very expensive but I figured this might be my last chance at a real vacation for awhile, considering I'll have to find an actual job once I graduate and I'm not sure when I'll be able to take off. But I'm going to start saving more money and trying to scrimp and save what money I have. Also because I have all my own expenses now, which I'm kinda freaking out about.

Alright well as I've actually been up all night, I'm going to head off to bed now and get some rest before I go run errands today.
be free, beatles

eight down, two to go!

Welp! This trimester is FIN-AL-LY over. I am currently suffering from Burn Out and am extremely anxious to graduate. On the other hand, I'm absolutely terrified to because then that means I have to actually get a real job and DO things. I've managed to avoid/delay this dilemma for two years longer than my fellow classmates from high school. haha I've met with one chiropractor so far to talk business and am planning on shadowing two different acupuncturists in a couple weeks to learn from them. :o) And I'm hoping I can get a part-time job with them while I finish up school to make some money and get additional experience running a practice. Still unsure of what I want to do when I graduate, but I'm trying to contact a local acupuncturist who specializes in fertility and see if she'll allow me to shadow her too. :D

Jesse and I are taking a vacation to the Texas coast next week, which I'm REALLY, REALLY looking forward to. I think we both need a vacation from work and Austin. We're getting a beach-side condo in Port Aransas, a cute little beach town close to Corpus Christi. Apparently Port Aransas is where all the old people live and visit and South Padre Island is where all the youngins go for Spring Break... so we decided on Port Aransas. I'm not really into the whole young people/spring break/summer scene. I've probably spent a good 40 hours working on things for the vacation. I did MAJOR internet research and found a good place for us to stay. I had my heart set on a couple other places but I came to find out that most of the hotels and condo rentals there require you to be at least 25 years old to rent from them. :o( I understand their reason for this, but it just sucks for those of us who are younger than 25 but also still responsible. Oh well. The place we're staying at is still really nice. They even have a heated outdoor pool in case we want to go swimming at night or if it's too chilly for the ocean... or because I have an irrational phobia against swimming in the ocean.. I think it all started when I developed my intense love/fear of sharks and I watched every shark horror movie known to man. The sad thing is I KNOW the risk of getting attacked by a shark is statistically less likely than getting struck by lightning on a golf course and other extremely rare events. (And sharks DON'T EAT PEOPLE. The only reason you die is because when they bite you, it's so severe you basically just bleed out.) But the fact that you can’t see anything in the water scares the fuck out of me. Once while on vacation with my family a long time ago, my dad made me and my sister go out in the water. He carried Sarah and I walked beside him.. deeper, deeper into the murky water. It all seemed good at first. But then Sarah yelped that something touched her leg and then *I* felt it. In hindsight, I’m sure it was just a fish (because y’know, they do live there...), but I have never moved through water so fast in my life. And I haven’t been back in the ocean since. Haha

I’ve done a ton of research on local restaurants and things to do and have lists! (You all know me and my lists..) I have even entered in all the addresses for said restaurants and activity locations into our GPS. So far, some fun things I’m hoping to do are: a dolphin tour in the ocean (guy drives you around talking about the local history and marine life and dolphins come right up to your boat!), go to the BEACH, go see the texas maritime museum, go to the texas state aquarium (and pet sting-rays!) and take a ferry to this small island where you can collect lots of seashells. There’s also a popular candy shop in town (Winston’s) that we WILL be going to.

If I don’t return, it’s probably because I went into a diabetic coma from this store.

My friend Jeneen will be taking care of the kitties while we’re gone, so they’ll be well loved and pampered. =^.^=

This week has been super busy for me- trying to finish up stuff for the trip but also getting lots of other things done. I finally transplanted the tomato, bell pepper and aloe vera plants I bought from the farmer’s market into pots of their own with new soil. I’m not sure if the tomato plant is going to make it so I bought a small tomato greenhouse seed starter thing to start some new seedlings. I'll start on that when I get back from vacation. Super excited to grow my own veggies! :D I really want a real garden of my own someday, but can't right now as Jesse and I rent the house we live in.. so I can't exactly go tilling up the yard. :o(

Also, tomorrow is graduation at my school and afterwards is a 20th anniversary celebration party. My school was established in 1990 and was the first TCM college in all of Texas. Lots of alumni and current students will be attending and it should be a lot of fun. I’m helping out for both events so I need to be at the school from 945 am-about 3 pm. Then I’m hopefully getting my nails done by my friend Thoa who is licensed to do nails in Texas and is working at this super cute salon (she does my nails for free! Even though I always insist on paying her, she won’t take my money). Then I’m doing a painting event with Jeneen from 7-10 pm up north. It’s called “Painting with a twist” and basically you go in and they teach you how to paint an actual painting step by step in that three hours. Seems like it wouldn’t be very much fun for people with NO art experience, but they have group pictures with their finished products and they actually look pretty good. Must be great teachers. You can view the calendar of paintings on their site and decide which painting you want to paint and reserve your spot for that day. Jeneen and I are learning how to paint a simplified version of Starry Night. Sweet.
And then Jesse and I are leaving. So I’m trying to pack up what I can tonight since I’ll be so busy tomorrow. Also trying to pack up some food since we’ll have a kitchen in the condo. :D It would be really cool to buy some fresh seafood from the boats and cook it in our condo or out on the grills, but I’m not sure I want to do so much work on vacation. Haha We’ll probably just hop around to all the good restaurants in the area. I can’t wait to load up on fresh shrimp, crap and fish. Mmmm seafood! I even got Parrot Bay Strawberry Daquiris for the occasion. Because 8 proof is about as far as I go! hahah

Anyhow, need to keep packing and get to bed!

Have a good weekend and I’ll post an entry complete with PICTURES from our trip when we get back! :o) Wee!

This might seem silly, but if anyone wants a postcard from Port Aransas, TX just email me your address and I’ll be sure to send you one! My email is . We have free wifi at the condo, so I’ll have internet access and will be checking my email up until we leave.
be free, beatles

Christmas Time is Heeerrreee

So Jesse and I have finally set down some dates for our journey northward. We're going to leave either on the 17th or 18th (depending on if I'm able to take my last final early or not) and head back starting on the 28th.
Since we're driving, it will either take us an entire day (16 hours to Springfield, IL with NO stops or delays, so probably more like 18-19 hours) to get there if we drive straight through, but we may stop along the way to sleep depending on how we feel. So we may get into town anywhere from Thursday night the 17th to Saturday the 19th. haha

The only things I know for sure right now are Christmas Eve at Moms and Christmas Day at Dads.
I am working on figuring out a possible itinerary for my visit back home at this time, but it won't get done until next week since this week I'm spending literally every free second studying for my biomed board exam. XD

Okay well just wanted to let you all know, so set your calendars! Let me know when you're free if you want to hang out! Now back to studying!